Sunday, November 19, 2006

Sister Foundly's Inner Piece

Dear Parishioners,

For a few months I've been toying with the idea of running a weblog to offer spiritual guidance and comfort to my neighbours and fellow men and women of Pranker's Wycke. Goodness knows we need all the support we can get in this day and age where filth is the currency and degradation is seen as a virtue.

Why, only the other day after my new internet connection had been set up by Bertie Spellend, that nice young fellow who runs the computer shop on the high street, I began 'surfing' the 'net' as they say, and was confronted by the most shocking and abominable images I had ever seen.

The extremes of sexual depravity had to be seen to be believed, and I continued browsing them, trying to understand the despair that must have overtaken these attractive young men and women as they posed for the cameras in endlessly inventive and sinful configurations.

Feeling it my duty to plumb the depths of this dark corner of human experience, the better to understand these poor lost souls, I registered with a number of these pornographic image providers, entering my credit card details into the appropriate boxes on the online application forms.

Before long the obscene material was flooding onto my desktop, and I examined it for hours, forcing myself to feel what these misguided individuals must have felt as they performed such acts, one upon the other.

Spent and drained by the end of the evening, I shut down the browser at last. However the images continued to appear before my closed eyes, the naked bodies writhing in their own sweat; particularly some of the live performances that I had witnessed via a video feed. I had been able to initiate such carnal acts with a mere click of my finger on the mouse.

What sort of world do we live in, I asked myself again, where such devilry can be summoned with so little effort? I cleansed my computer, deleting the downloaded internet files and cookies, as Bertie had shown me earlier that same day, and prayed over it that the internet be delivered from evil.

I went to bed, wondering what new depths of shame I should encounter online the following day.

With blessings and glad tidings,

Sister Foundly

2 comments:

Blunghole, M.D. said...

Have you a topic on which you'd like Sister Foundly's spiritual insights? Please let her know by leaving a comment.

Anonymous said...

I would most be interested in your worldly views on inter-familial relationships.