Letters #2

An unexpected coupling

Dear Residents

Just a quick note to thank all those who attended our ballroom dancing display on Thursday evening, nearly all the proceeds from which will go towards Sheila Fitt-Cumming’s ongoing Brown Trout effort. I am obligated to mention Kyle Vunt and the other lawyers who, for a fee, gave us Mefed Chambers when we realised rather late in the day that the Pranker’s Wycke Ringers were using the church hall.

I must also thank our very special guests, national Latin champion Blake U. Mead from High Drumping with his enormously talented troupe, who gave us a spirited display. Perfectly choreographed, delightfully seductive and dripping in physicality, one could almost smell and taste the passion. At the heart of the action was Blake’s partner Rose Pudely, who met embrace after embrace with unrelenting enthusiasm, before the final coming together and spectacular finish. It was, quite simply, breathtaking. 

I would also like to thank our very own impromptu coupling; Vicar Dirgin and Jaymie Lingerly. Having watched the professionals, Vicar Dirgin was overcome by an urge to get ‘stuck in’ as he told me afterwards. Equally aroused by our visiting virtuosos, Jaymie followed Vicar Dirgin’s lead and took to the floor. Spurred on by an excited audience, our brave couple launched themselves into a passionate duel. Nervous initially, her facial expressions almost pained, Jaymie was at times caught off balance by Vicar Dirgin’s cocksure embraces. She loosened up however as the movements quickened and tightened. Old hand Vicar Dirgin remained stiff throughout but did not disappoint with his legendary ganchos, whilst his ingénue thrilled us with her verdant cunitas. What an unexpected treat!

We look forward to seeing you at this year’s pantomime. If you need transport or would like to help out please do let me know ASAP.

Joan Mentley